He answered your question. Then nothing. No question back.

What it usually means

1. He thinks he's answered the message. Some people treat a question like something to respond to, not a cue to keep chatting. Notice whether he's more engaged in person.
2. He doesn't have much attention right now. He may be replying between tasks. A short answer can be about the moment rather than the connection.
3. He's comfortable letting you lead. If you always ask the next question, he may have settled into that rhythm. You don't have to keep supplying it.
4. He isn't putting much into the conversation. If there's little curiosity in any setting, not just over text, the lack of reciprocity is worth taking seriously.

What it doesn't mean

• That one missing ‘and you?’ proves he isn't interested. Look at the whole exchange.
• That you need a better question to earn his attention. Conversation is something two people contribute to.

What to do

Share something about yourself instead of asking another question. Then leave some room. This isn't a test to make him chase; it's a chance to stop doing both halves of the conversation. If it's a regular frustration, say what you'd like directly.

3 replies, if you want to send one

When it's worth paying attention

Look beyond question marks. Does he remember things you tell him, follow up later or make time to see you? If curiosity is missing everywhere, you don't need to keep working harder to create it.

FAQ